Thursday, August 30, 2007

Resurrection

One streak of flickering fading light held by dark night
reflecting itself often on a rippling quiet faroff lagoon.
A loud bark of a dog killing an otherwise errie silence;
unseen wanderers trailing their own unsure lost steps.
Nothing seems sure when it will be as it was before.

But dark is fading,drowning the silence it lived in.
Brightness leading thousand footsteps on a hopeful trail;
Sound growing on its own silence, turning into music.
With a spring in steps & hope in every breathing spirit.
A canvass of colorful light streams out from forlorn,
forever taking away the dark silence that never lived on.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Lasting Touch

A movie to watch, according to most critics, is one which leaves you with an impression and an unanchored opinion. But what if you watched it long time back? A time when you probably could not even comprehend the level of complexities that critics spin. A time when you probably were still growing up to catch up with the "mature world". The rule is you just do nothing. Leave it. Do not ruminate over. This is precisely I ended up doing with Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa.

Starring sensibly brilliant ( not a very common occurrence anymore) Shahrukh Khan, never seen again Suchitra Krishnamoorty, enchanting Goga Kapoor and others who I dont remember, this movie is a lasting touch on your senses. I was just 15 years old when I saw it for the first time. Never saw it again. But it is still fresh in my mind. Sheer brilliance of script, simplicity of screenplay, natural acting of cast and relevance to real life makes it such a beautiful work. But all this apart, what I love in this movie is its theme. It presents a wonderful tale of aspirations, dreams, desires and envy that comes so natural to every youngster. And all this presented in a very harmless and uncunning manner. Trying to tell all this in such a simple manner and still convey it all is the real kill of this movie. Not to forget the songs which are ageless and hummable till date.

With a band of young boys who are trying to put together a performance so that they get a chance to perform at the local club, this movie picks its pace right at the go. Then meandering through their dreams, aspirations of their families, desires of their lives and quest for romance, this movie does not let you go. Shahrukh Khan stars as a young Mr. X ( I dont remember his name in the movie) who is over ambitious and under rated by all. But he has his own dreams and a dreamworld to live in. Nothing rubs him and he lives for a day which will redeem him. He is in love with a girl who does not understand his love at all. His bandmates do not understand him, his family does not understand him, his neighbours do not understand him. He is a complete non entity. All of them know him but none understands him. Surrounded by everyone, he is all alone. And irony does not end here. Of all the people one who understands his genuineness is a local gangster played by Goga Kapoor. What a subtle sarcasm!

But this guy is not deterred. He is not empty. He is an eternal optimist and ever hopeful. He lives for that one moment which will give him everything. Music, the girl he discreetly loves, appreciation of his parents and a recognised life. He is not afraid and he is not shy. He is just incapable and he is genuine. He is not shrewd, not cunning not envious nor is he conniving. Just full of desires but incapable and genuine. Despite that always cheerful and full of life. A bad combination.

I was reminded of this movie today after an age. While listening to one of its songs. As a child it really touched me somewhere. Something within me changed back than. At that very instance. I dont know what and I dont know why. But it was so close to real. I time travelled. I saw something that was going to be a part of life much later. Everybody's. This movie moves through so many shades of young life called "desire" and ends at a point which I call "redemption". I took a cue.

Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa still lives within me. I dont want to watch it again. First time, I found a treasure. And with time things change. So does your opinion about everything in life. That is a treasure I dont want to touch. I fear, it might evaporate. Engulfed in a haze of commercial life and over zealous sense of rationality that I have painstakingly acquired over these years, it might loose its original sense it made to a kid. But if you have not seen it, go and do it. So far I am concerned, I want it to be as it is. Untouched, beautiful and a lasting touch on my senses.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Circa then untill now

Not a long while When I used to sit there laughing;
Feeling summer's warm loo & dusty chips off the pave
Drawing winter's warmth from last lit lantern's wick
Brushin dragonflies touchin my soarin sweaty dreams.

Not a short while ago when I sat here trying to laugh
Feeling the chill of very cold breeze I flew off with
Pegged to a wooden stool, Gorki in my thoughts beneath
With a cappuchino in my hands,once in a while,I smile.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Colors

Red, blue, green, azure, indigo, eternal black and all encompassing - white. Each of these have a story of their own to tell. These are not dead colors. They live and breathe. Like one of our own. They just dont paint this world and the world beyond. They paint our emotions, give a tint to what already exists within realms and are true manifestations of everything within and without.

Once upon a time, when very first apple was eaten in garden of bliss, the eater got thrown out. He landed up at someplace which was all white. All over the horizon, as far as the vision took thoughts to, it was all colorlessly white. That was when it all began. Walking aimlessly on these snowed terrains, he met pink. Love blossomed. White was about to loose its identity, its virginity. It got sprayed with pink and the terrain gained many more hues. Time elapsed. Many of these shades were still emerging. White was happy. It was no longer alone in this big world. It now had companions. Blue was there to help quench all the desires. Blue was swift, shapeless and supportive. They made a good match. Made for each other. They knew their limitations. White would not venture in blue's territory and blue, like a real child, would come across and play at the feet of white.

Theirs was not the world to keep. As world grew and as more inhabited it, many more shades shaped up. With a desire for white and lust for pink, they started looking for a tool. Lurking in a corner, gaining shape was black. It always existed. It was gaining life now. It needed a reason to come out of hibernation. It started finding some. With increasing species, it had ample. Aided by green and powered by red it began its long march. Green would always make it suspicious. Giving it a reason to disturb the tranquil white. Pepped up by green, red would be black's brother in arm. Black would design and red would strike. More sprays, more betrayals, more anger, more seething, more evil. That was the hallmark of red. Red and black marched on. Stamping the world of white and blue. Pink would watch helplessly and indigo could not do any thing. Once in a while when black would rest, yellow would sprout. Giving an illusion that not all was over. Harmony still existed. Orange will help yellow set up bases and it would try to put life back into all that was almost burnt by seeth of red and march of black. But all that would never live long. Black would rise up again. Like a magic monster. And yellow, orange, pink- each one of these would become groundless.

This was the rule of game. Play of colors. Not as we know it and think it is. But as it actually is. Since the first descent and the first march. Eternal black against all encompassing white. Black was fiery and powerful, aided by green and dead red. White was assimilating and tolerant. All other colors - violet, indigo, blue, orange, pink -would walk arm in arm and merge into white. Giving White a reason to run against crusading march of black and its allies.

The march of black continues till date. Overriding and powerful. A hint of restoration comes up once in a while. With white and its friends gaining ground. But not long enough. Black rises up again and all gets lost.

Even today, White is patiently waiting. Enveloping and protecting so many other colors. Hoping that someday it would put an end to the march of black.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Big Issue

'You wont find any beggars there!', quipped someone even while I was collecting my boarding pass at Mumbai airport for a Sydney outbound. Over the time I forgot what that person said to me.Untill one fateful day. Untill one flicker of a moment. A true moment of revelation. I will try leading you on to what it led me to. That was a fine monday morning. Clear and azure winter sky. No drizzles, no hair ruffles. While crossing over Darling harbour bridge I was cheked in my stride. By a man who would not be more than 35 years.



" Excuse me brother! Would you want a copy of The Big Issue? This comes free to you and you get a further subscription discount."
I was getting late for my work and politely refused him. He started looking out for someone else and I carried on.



Just other day, while out on my lunch, I met this guy. His name is Sky. Actually Yun Wong. Also known as Sky. A wonderful violin player, I have seen him playing at Martin Place on many afternoons. He plays and people drop coins in his case. I am sure he makes atleast 20 bucks a day. There are others. These two I had a chance to talk to and I know their names. Others are just nameless faces to me. One school guy playing flute, another homeless shoeshine man, a group of hip hop artists trying to collect money for an LA trip and on and on and on. List is endless. And I see them everyday. Same place, same time, doing the same thing. Unaffected by the changing world around them.



Back to what we were talking about. So, one weekend when I was cleaning my room I saw my boarding pass. The sight of it brought on the moment. You wont find any beggars there. It echoed through my senses. And reality struck. How do we define beggars? Who are they? Non entities or existing? Faceless or clueless? Real or dream? I could not find a suitable answer. Because untill today even I knew the wrong meaning of this word. Actually, they are none. They dont exist. We have taken great pains to conjure up this word and its meaning. And through generations it has found examples amongst us. It is just a vent to one of our inferior sides. We want to be superior and placed higher. We want to be better than the best. Looks like we have taken to our heart Darwin's 'Survival of the fittest'. We all need some help, some support or some anchor in our lives. Be it in any form. But most of us dont get obvious. Yet there are a few who are visible to our naked eyes. Because they are not fittest. They are not privileged. Either by their birth, abilities, opportunities or luck. So they come out in open. To ask others for a helping hand. We chose to call them beggars. Most of us dont ask for help because we can survive without being obvious. Some cant. And we draw advantage of our status. A needless pleasure and some self reclaim. We call them beggars, throw alms and get going.



I dont know what this means. I am also clueless. But one thing I know. We are in a symbiotic existence. We need this system and system needs us. Being needy is no shame and being advantaged is no achievement. There is a bigger issue here. The man with copies of Big Issue in his hands is no issue at all. This idea of self deceit is an issue. The complacency, that we are self suffcient, is an issue. Are we capable of deceiving this feeling of self deceit? We need to be equal givers and equal beggars. 'Can we do it?' is the issue.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Rip and Rap

Rip and Rap were born on same date in different parts of the same town. Rip on a rag inside a rain washed clay cottage and Rap was wrapped in a muslin within a sanitation zone.I dont know either of them. Nor do they know each other. But they have so many things in common which always amazes me. When Rip opened his eyes for the first time, he could smell raw tar still being cooked for laying fresh roads. Rap also had a fragrance around him. Jasmine on the boiling water and an ever running temperature controlled cabin. That would never let the jasmine's smell die. Not that smell around Rip died. In fact it got stronger as more roads were laid. They both had their share of fragrance. Rip's strengthened by an ever increasing need for growth and Rap's strengthened by an ever increasing desire for perfection and luxury.

They both grew up. In their own ways but in the same town. Rip went to a school so did Rap to another. Rip used a notebook which Rap's father had donated to the govt. school he went to. Then came the moment of realisation for both of them. Accidentally, that too was the same day. Both of them wanted to be and wanted to become. To achieve and be big. They had this never ending desire that started culminating into a resolve. which they has inherited from their past. Both of them longed to get rid of that label. And they started working hard towards achieving their own goals. Did i tell you their goals? What they dreamt of? Rip dreamt of a big mansion, bigger bank balance and much better life. He wanted to be larger than the life itself. He never wanted to smell that burning tar again when he slept. Rap thought of giving it back to the humanity. To become and elixir that will take away all pains of this world. He was willing to bear all the hardship that came in his way. But he was determined to alleviate those he thought were not so privileged as he had been.

The day came. Their redemption. It all happened again on the same day. Rip was now what he had always wanted to be. He had a big house right adjacent to Rap's father. It smelled of Jasmine when his wife delivered a baby boy. Rap had also done it. He worked for some humanities mission in a far off place. He did not have proper food to eat and proper place to sleep in. It was a cramped clay house with smell of tar burnt in african sun. But he was happy. He was what he wanted to be.Nothing had changed through out their evolution. There still was one Rip and there still was one Rap in this big world.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Across the Sea

Hi, Back after a long time. I am. I will keep it really short. Untill next one when i start going my original way. Long and never ending. It has been six days since I arrived in Sydney. A whirlwind tour of physical presence, emotions, feelings, relations and what not. Thankfully I met quiet a nice bunch of people at work. They know who they are. When you leave a place where you have been anchored to, for past all the years of life, that is a sea change. Precisely what happened to me on 6th of june 2007. And today, on 15th I am feeling at home. Really. A touchodwn at the Sydney airport, Walk along the Pyrmont bridge overlooking Sydney Towers, number one Martin Place, a long one to Newcastle, Y on the Hyde Park. The list is endless. What I mean is, all this has been amazing. Bringing me slowly and smoothly into the system and putting me right where I would have thought myself to be in. It is 7 PM. Everyone is gone. 10 minutes and after I finish reading one of the report, even I will be. All I know is, it has been a nice beginning. Sydney, kind of drwas you in and does not let you go off. it is such an easy city on you. Not burdened by the weight of expectations and also not lost in an identity crisis. A rare feat to find in a city of burgeoning aspirations and one which is tipped to be second best to none. Untill next time mate.