Taste of Life

I ate bittergourds today. Thought of you while I was eating. I still remember how you forced me into eating bittergourds everyday. Trying to tell me how good it was for me and for my spirit. The child that I was, I would get convinced and try it. But throw it all out very next moment. Did not I use to tell you so often I had a sweet tongue. That I liked sweets. But no! you wont ever listen. Not that it made any difference. I would keep on eating sweets, you would keep on chasing me. I always thought you ate all the sweets yourself and left over bittergourd was meant for me.

Long time since I tasted any of that. Was lucky to find some yesterday. I ordered it made specially. Got it made precisely the way you would have liked it. Ate a plate full. I was surprised. It was sweet in taste. Sweeter then all the sweets you used to hide from me. Sweeter than all the sweets I thought you kept for yourself and ate it when I was not around. They tell me I cant eat sweets anymore. I see it all around. I have enough money to buy it. I do not even need to steal. I earn now. But they tell me I cant eat sweets now. Not good for me and my spirit, they say. I can hear you cry today. Hear myself always ignoring your chides.But don’t cry. I don’t miss eating sweets. These bittergourds taste so good. I wonder why I did not like them years ago? When I had it served and ready everytime. I would throw them and keep on thinking about all the sweets you kept for yourself to eat. Now I doubt if you ever kept those sweets for yourself.

What a fool I was. You liked gourds more than sweets and it took me 20 years to realise this. Today, when they tell me I cant eat sweets, I understand what you meant back then. You were right. There are other things sweeter than sweets. When I come back next summer, will you cook for me again? This time you wont need to convince me. I will eat whatever you cook. Even if it does not taste sweet. Why don’t you let me know when you are cooking again? Make it before summer. Post summer, I will be gone again. For a long time. Traceless in my self created humdrums and labyrinths. Let me taste life once more, before I loose it all again.

Beauty

Today, when you are like a thousand symphonies playing in moonlight
Like an early morning sunshine, shining on a dewdrop so bright.
Each one of them want you today, when you are like a distant dream-
A drunken God's own sonnet, which he wrote for his first theme.

Gone will be the cascading melody, dimmed the lights which were bright.
Gods waking up from their drunken dreams, creating another one like you.
They will now want her. She will sway,like you did once, in her own right.
You'll look back once, to all that was yours, then fade away forever in a slide.

The Verdict

'All Rise' - announced the sentry standing on main door;

"Your'onor" took his place, besides her, and began my sentence.

All this while she tried to even her disbalanced scale

And he scribbled one sentence- sentencing me for a lifetime.

She remained motionless;still trying to balance her scale.

Master and the Disciple

When you have lost sight and lost to life, when you dont see any reason for your own existence and that of the world's and when you are on your last false splurge before you plan to end it all! What could happen then? Possibly, a sad and predictable end. But not if you had Charlie Simms as your companion and you were Col. Frank Slade. It could end starkly different. Hope would never be lost. Power of one capable individual and how he could bare the nakedness of an entire ignorant society, would never cease to exist. Scent of a Woman is a classic story told - of this hope and strong will winning over depression and gloom that pervades our mortal beings.

Al Pacino in his class act as blind colonel Slade and Chris O Donnell as his fateful companion and disciple take you through a journey of lifetime. Only the school is school of life and lessons are from unwritten books of integrity and values. Colonel is a retired, deeply hurt and blind man who has no reasons to live his life. He knows it but he wont confess to it. Too much to swallow for his big ego. In comes Charlie simms. A school going teenager, who needs a few extra bucks to meet his ends. He is appointed babysitter for the blind colonel on his journey to NY. A journey which he has planned to be his last. On the way, Colonel takes to mentoring this "kid" into a man. Trying to teach him about life. And how? By making him understand the essence of Scent of a Woman. How each woman has a different fragrance from other, how each one of them is a fantastic creation of God and how each one of them is an elixir for so many human pains. And not only does he tell him this. He makes him feel it. By dancing tango with a beautiful woman who is very sad and making her smile. By blind driving Ferrari in busy streets and yet not scratching it. By asking hotel manager to fill up stacks of John Daniell's in his room.

Each of these acts - a standing reinforcement to belief called 'life'. But underneath this spirit of him lies a dead soul. Having lost to everything and ready to die. But this is where director Martin Brest paints his masterstroke. The disciple turns into a teacher. Not letting the master die. Very convincingly, Charlie makes Colonel realise how important his life is to him and for everyone around him. He rips through tall walls of his ego and touches the human within. And Colonel's dead soul is reborn. Charlie saves a man from his impending death. He saves his dying soul - enriching it with fulfillment and infusing it with a purpose to live. They come back. The journey is about to end but for an incident. Simms' career is in jeopardy because he wont rat on misdeeds of his classmates. He is about to be thrown out of his school because he is a misfit. Not a Baird Man. A committe meets to decide on the fate of this young boy. But it is almost predecided that he will be expelled. And then Al pacino delivers performance of a lietime. The way he talks about hollowness of the whole process, exposes the meaninglessness of an entire insititution called education and authenticates simple yet most important human value - integrity is an act of a master. An act that still lives fresh in your memory. An act that has immortalised Pacino forever. An act that made a whole generation sit back, stop in their tracks and think about the whole meaning of a gift called human life and purpose of it.

Watch this movie for sheer brilliance of its script, simplicity of execution and force of characters it portrays. Telling, in very powerful yet simple words, the essence of a meaningful life and leaving an imprint forever. Watch it to believe that an individual's values are stronger than a society's crumbling beliefs. And telling all this so effortlessly. While trying to explain how each of the women has a very distinct fragrance and how you could tell one from the other by their smell. How Scent of a Woman tells her character! Only a master could enact it. And a master did it flawlessly.

Dance of Spring

When I thought she would never dance again

In came spring, lifting her depressed dark soul

She no longer felt old; no more drew nothing on

Her spirits lifted, soaring high, she was on a song.

Resurrection

One streak of flickering fading light held by dark night
reflecting itself often on a rippling quiet faroff lagoon.
A loud bark of a dog killing an otherwise errie silence;
unseen wanderers trailing their own unsure lost steps.
Nothing seems sure when it will be as it was before.

But dark is fading,drowning the silence it lived in.
Brightness leading thousand footsteps on a hopeful trail;
Sound growing on its own silence, turning into music.
With a spring in steps & hope in every breathing spirit.
A canvass of colorful light streams out from forlorn,
forever taking away the dark silence that never lived on.

A Lasting Touch

A movie to watch, according to most critics, is one which leaves you with an impression and an unanchored opinion. But what if you watched it long time back? A time when you probably could not even comprehend the level of complexities that critics spin. A time when you probably were still growing up to catch up with the "mature world". The rule is you just do nothing. Leave it. Do not ruminate over. This is precisely I ended up doing with Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa.

Starring sensibly brilliant ( not a very common occurrence anymore) Shahrukh Khan, never seen again Suchitra Krishnamoorty, enchanting Goga Kapoor and others who I dont remember, this movie is a lasting touch on your senses. I was just 15 years old when I saw it for the first time. Never saw it again. But it is still fresh in my mind. Sheer brilliance of script, simplicity of screenplay, natural acting of cast and relevance to real life makes it such a beautiful work. But all this apart, what I love in this movie is its theme. It presents a wonderful tale of aspirations, dreams, desires and envy that comes so natural to every youngster. And all this presented in a very harmless and uncunning manner. Trying to tell all this in such a simple manner and still convey it all is the real kill of this movie. Not to forget the songs which are ageless and hummable till date.

With a band of young boys who are trying to put together a performance so that they get a chance to perform at the local club, this movie picks its pace right at the go. Then meandering through their dreams, aspirations of their families, desires of their lives and quest for romance, this movie does not let you go. Shahrukh Khan stars as a young Mr. X ( I dont remember his name in the movie) who is over ambitious and under rated by all. But he has his own dreams and a dreamworld to live in. Nothing rubs him and he lives for a day which will redeem him. He is in love with a girl who does not understand his love at all. His bandmates do not understand him, his family does not understand him, his neighbours do not understand him. He is a complete non entity. All of them know him but none understands him. Surrounded by everyone, he is all alone. And irony does not end here. Of all the people one who understands his genuineness is a local gangster played by Goga Kapoor. What a subtle sarcasm!

But this guy is not deterred. He is not empty. He is an eternal optimist and ever hopeful. He lives for that one moment which will give him everything. Music, the girl he discreetly loves, appreciation of his parents and a recognised life. He is not afraid and he is not shy. He is just incapable and he is genuine. He is not shrewd, not cunning not envious nor is he conniving. Just full of desires but incapable and genuine. Despite that always cheerful and full of life. A bad combination.

I was reminded of this movie today after an age. While listening to one of its songs. As a child it really touched me somewhere. Something within me changed back than. At that very instance. I dont know what and I dont know why. But it was so close to real. I time travelled. I saw something that was going to be a part of life much later. Everybody's. This movie moves through so many shades of young life called "desire" and ends at a point which I call "redemption". I took a cue.

Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa still lives within me. I dont want to watch it again. First time, I found a treasure. And with time things change. So does your opinion about everything in life. That is a treasure I dont want to touch. I fear, it might evaporate. Engulfed in a haze of commercial life and over zealous sense of rationality that I have painstakingly acquired over these years, it might loose its original sense it made to a kid. But if you have not seen it, go and do it. So far I am concerned, I want it to be as it is. Untouched, beautiful and a lasting touch on my senses.